The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to More about the author have sex with somebody we are attracted to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in visit urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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