The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got look at these guys problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on address physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar